🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. EQ is a flexible skill that can be learned. While it is true that some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, a high EQ can be developed even if you aren’t born with it.
2. people with the highest levels of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20% of the time, while people with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time.
3. Emotional Intelligence consists of four key parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management

🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

This is one of those books that everyone should read. It contains general pieces of information that apply to everyone's life, and the book is really easy to read. Every individual possesses emotional intelligence, which in turn affects their life. Thus, it is important for everyone to strive towards enhancing their EQ. Doing so not only benefits the individual but also positively impacts their relationships and those around them. If you are already familiar with books from the self-improvement genre, you will find a lot of familiar information. This is why I gave the book 3 stars.

☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Although the book contains valuable information, it did not have a big impact on my life. The book strengthened my perception of EQ and its values, but it did not provide me with a lot of new information about EQ. However, the book did manage to create the habit of trying to figure out the EQs of people, which could be a useful skill for searching for employees or meeting new, interesting, and socially intelligent people in general.

✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

“People trust what they see over what they hear.” Travis Bradberry

“CEOs, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace.” Travis Bradberry

“What your folks forgot to explain is that you always have a choice-a choice in how you respond to what’s before you.” Travis Bradberry

📒 Summary + Notes

Emotional Intelligence is one of the three key components of a person. The other two are Cognitive Intelligence (IQ) and Personality. However, there is one important distinction between the three: Cognitive Intelligence cannot be significantly improved with exercise or training; it is largely defined by genetics. Personality is a result of preferences, such as an inclination for introversion or extroversion. Like IQ, personality, as defined by Travis Bradberry, cannot be changed significantly and remains stable over a lifetime. Emotional Intelligence, on the other hand, can be improved with training and practice. Emotional Intelligence is so important because it comes biologically before the rational brain. That means that the rational area of your brain can't stop the emotion by your limbic system.

The 4 parts of EQ

Emotional Intelligence consists of four parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Each of these parts contributes to your EQ. Self-awareness and self-management can be grouped under personal competence, while social awareness and relationship management can be grouped under social competence.

Self-awareness

To be self-aware is to know yourself as you really are. There is no finish line with self-awareness. Self-awareness is about knowing the true essence of yourself. It means noticing and understanding your emotions, both positive and negative. Travis Bradberry provides 15 self-awareness strategies and explains them in detail. For the purpose of the length of this blog, I will not do that. I will only provide the ones that I think are the most important.

Quit Treating Your Feelings as Good or Bad

This is the principle of stoicism, and I think it is one of the most important things for managing hard times and emotional stress. The importance of suspending judgment of emotions is massive, and it allows your emotions to run their course and vanish.

Lean into Your Discomfort

One possible way of managing emotions is to simply avoid them. The problem with this approach is that you will never be able to manage yourself and your problems effectively. A better way than avoiding your feelings would be to move toward your emotions and eventually work through them.

Visit your Values

It's crucial to stay focused on the end goal while managing day-to-day tasks. Taking a moment to reflect on your core values and beliefs can make a significant impact.

Self-management

Self-management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to actively choose what you say and do. A high level of self-management ensures that you are not getting in your own way and doing things that limit your success.

Count to Ten

This is a very effective way of dealing with anger and frustration. Just stop yourself and count to ten. Then proceed with your regained composure and rational perspective on the situation.

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

Your subconscious mind is very powerful and plays an important role in how we think about ourselves and the world. Therefore, it is important to control your self-talk and regulate what you allow to enter your subconscious mind.

Social awareness

Social awareness is the skill to recognize and understand the moods of other individuals and entire groups of people. Social awareness involves looking outward to learn about and understand the emotions and feelings of others. To build your social awareness skills, you will have to observe people in all kinds of situations.

Greet People by Name

This concept is so simple yet so effective. Greeting people by their names not only acknowledges them as the essence of who they are, but also allows you to remain connected to them in more than just a superficial way.

Watch Body Language

Reading a person's body language is an important skill to master because it is something that is very hard to hide. It provides you with valuable information about the other person and allows you to respond appropriately.

Relationship management

Relationships are an essential and fulfilling part of life. Since you are half of any relationship, you have half of the responsibility for improving and maintaining it. All relationships take work, and working on a relationship takes time, effort, and know-how.

Be Open and Be Curious

Being open means sharing information about yourself with others. This leaves less room for them to misinterpret you. However, just being open is not enough. You also need to be curious about the other person. This general curiosity is important and allows for interesting relationships.

I personally think that EQ is neglected a lot in our society, especially in schools and working environments. In schools, you are not taught that there is something like EQ, and you don’t learn how you can improve your EQ. Learning about EQ and how to improve it would have a dramatic effect on relationships and would probably have a big impact on the success and happiness of people.

If you want to learn from a person who has nearly mastered the four parts of emotional intelligence, check out my blog about the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Also, feel free to share your thoughts on emotional intelligence and its importance in the world and schools in the comments. I hope to see you again, reading my next blog!

With regards
Devin Hasler